Graduation

Graduation

    I recently received my Masters degree from Clemson.  I remember as an undergrad I didn’t care to walk the stage.  It seemed a boring task for me.  But I was first generation in my family to graduate from college and it was important for my parents that I walk.  With my Masters, it was different.  I’m more mature now and I really put 110% into the program.  I worked hard for two years, sacrificing many things, including my family, to graduate with a 3.88 out of 4.00.  (dang statistics ruining my 4.0!!)  I wanted to walk.  I wanted to walk for quite a few reasons.

    I wanted my daughter to see me walk across the stage.  She was about two weeks shy of seven when I walked the stage.  I wanted that image planted in her head.  She knew the amount of work I put into school.  There were many nights that she cried asking me to put the computer down and read to her.  The 20-page paper was due the next day, I couldn’t put the computer down.  There were many nights that I cried thinking I took on too much, I couldn’t possibly be successful.  There were many fights with my husband as he had to pick up the slack while I did school work.  I wanted her to see how the hard work paid off.  I wanted her to have that feeling of pride as she watched her mother cross the stage.  I wanted her to recognize the importance of education and life-long learning.

    I was part of an online graduate program.  My cohort had the opportunity to meet on campus twice throughout the program.  I am still amazed at the mutual respect and collaboration that was built over the last two years in the program.  I made very good friends that I know will always be a part of my life.  We all worked so hard and while not all of us could make the December graduation, for those of us that did, it was an amazing experience.  We worked really hard as a team and to share that moment with them was invaluable.  It was important for us to be together and walk.  

    I’ve been asked numerous times how it feels to be a graduate.  I’ve been thinking about this since November when I presented my Masters Research Project and received such positive feedback from my committee.  I think that is when it hit me that I did it.  I made it.  I was going to graduate.  I can’t really explain how it feels to be a graduate.  I try to put into words how I feel.  I can’t find the words.  Suddenly, I am quiet.  

    I’m sitting in the middle of Littlejohn Coliseum.  There are hundreds of students with black gowns and graduation caps on.  I’m thinking about my life since I left Clemson 13 years earlier.  I made a promise to myself that day in December 1997 that I would get a Masters degree.  I wanted that for myself.  I wanted to know that I could do it.  I wanted to know that I was smart enough.  

    I started graduate school at USC straight out of undergrad.  I didn’t really know what to do so why not?  But the problem with starting graduate school with no real plan is that it just becomes a huge liability on your time and wallet.  And, let’s face it, for someone whose blood runs orange, I couldn’t possibly have a degree from USC and be proud.  So, I stopped school and went on with my life.  Always searching for that one program that would be the one.  

    I made the decision to leave my career at the top of my game.  I had exceeded and maybe even shattered everyone’s expectations of what I could accomplish at the company.  I made the decision because the career, while completely amazing and fun, took me away from home on a regular basis and my baby was suffering.  It was during this time that I found my graduate program.  It was a perfect fit.  I was very interested in the curriculum, it was family friendly, and it was through Clemson.  Finally, 10 years after quitting graduate school, I was beginning a new graduate program with a purpose and a plan.  

    Here I sit, in the middle of the Coliseum, looking around me.  My excitement boiling over.  The realization that not only did I do it, I did it damn well.  I look through the crowd till I find my parents.  Then I spot Ashton & Franklin.  It has come full circle.  My little girl is in the crowd jumping up and down, waving to me.  She sees me.  She sees me.  She sees me.  It hits me.

    Every feeling I have right at this minute (pride, accomplishment, relief, etc), is nothing compared to the pride I see in her face looking at me.  She is proud of me.  

    What does it feel like to be a graduate?  I made a significant, positive impact on my daughter and it feels great!